Happy Anniversary Mr J
by FreakinGodzilla
Summary: A Jareth and Sarah 2 - shot. It's the anniversary of Sarah's run through the labyrinth. The goblins are busy trying to get Sarah in the celebration spirit. Sarah is just trying to get through another day. When she begins to feel that there is something more sinister at hand, she leaves Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus to pick up the pieces that the goblins have left behind. Fluff.
1. Totally a Crackfic

**It's the anniversary of Sarah's run through the labyrinth. The goblins are busy trying to get Sarah in the celebration spirit. Sarah is just trying to get through another day. When she begins to feel that there is something more sinister at hand, she leaves Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus to pick up the pieces that the goblins have left behind.**

 **J/S 2-shot.**

 **This is going to probably be more of a crackfic than anything. I am very sorry about that. Fluff & humor in abundance.**

 **Happy Anniversary Labyrinth!**

 **How many references does this have? Lets see… A Presidents of the USA quote (the band, of course - I used a line from the song Peaches), puns mildly inspired from Undertale (I do not do Sans justice, sorry), Title is from Batman the Animated Series (A song that Harley sings that is a reference to Marilyn Monroe - only slightly embarrassed by admitting this) and of course this whole fanfic is inspired off of the 1986 cult classic called Labyrinth (which I sadly do not own - that's me disclaiming it).**

┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘

" _Sarprize_!"

A handful of confetti rained down upon Sarah's bedsheets and fell over sleepy lump of a person beneath them.

"Urg, it's that time already?" The lump groaned.

A flock of jubilant goblins bounced at the foot of the bed. They liked her 'adult bed', it was much bouncier than her childhood bed, they had told her.

"C'mon lady," a new voice joined in followed by several others that sounded eerily similar to the first. Great. The Fiery Gang had showed up. Now she'd _have_ to get out of bed.

Sarah promptly stuffed her head under the plushy pillows. To her dismay this did not shut out the racket that was taking place around her.

"Hey, lady!" A member of the fire gang shouted into the pillow.

She did not answer.

He continued on as if she had. "What d'ya call a chicken crossing the road?"

"What?" the goblins chimed in. They did not miss a beat.

"A poultry in motion."

Oh, great. More chicken puns. She had thought they had used up all of them last year but it seems that they had come armed with more.

"Really guys? _More_?" Her voice was exhausted.

"Yeah," a goblin cheered. "We just needed to re-coop."

The room joined in with an excessive amount of jokes.

"Why did a turkey cross the road?" A goblin named Gus spoke above the chaos of chicken puns.

The room exchanged confused glances. "Waits, I thoughts we were doing chickens."

Gus continued without missing a beat. "To prove that he wasn't _chicken_."

Sarah felt defeated. This was it. This was her life now.

"Oi, ur really ruffling my feathers."

"Don't get _cocky_ now."

Suddenly a voice from beneath the pillows joined in. "I can't sleep with all of your squawking."

Dead silence. She could hear the hum of the air conditioner.

Perhaps she was the sort of person that just wasn't meant to tell puns, she thought.

Sarah was allowed just a second of embarrassment before the room rumbled with laughter. Then, feeling quite proud of herself, Sarah rose to take on the day.

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The goblins were always the loudest on the anniversary. They would scramble throughout the house with the attention span of a goldfish. Constantly finding things to get into, destroy and move on. What was supposed to be a celebration of their friendship with Sarah was instead a living nightmare.

If only they weren't so endearing. Sarah knew that she wouldn't tolerate this sort of behavior from any other living creature but the creatures of the Underground. They just held her in such high esteem, always wanting to make her proud.

But Sarah knew something was different this day.

It all started when the cake she's been called to pick up the cake she had ordered. When she'd gotten to the bakery she had accepted the white box with a gleeful smile. Sarah couldn't resist a peek, and slowly lifted the lid off to reveal the cake underneath.

Her smile had shattered. With a pale face she looked up at the employee and said, "That's not it. That's not what I ordered."

Thinking that Sarah was simply a disappointed customer, the employee had tried to reassure her, but Sarah wasn't having it.

She had shoved the box back at them. Opening her wallet and fully compensating them with her money for their hard work, Sarah simply said, "I didn't ask for peaches on the cake," and left the store.

Sarah hadn't expected another thing other than the house being completely ransacked when she returned. To her surprise, everything was just as it should be. The goblins sat on the floor with their gnarled hands folded politely in their laps. They looked like scolded children.

Odd.

Possibly the strangest behavior Sarah had ever seen a goblin display.

Their meek demeanor did not last long, of course, and it wasn't long until her house began to look how she had expected it to. The television remote was sticky and the buttons refused to work, all of the hot water in the house had been used up by goblins fascinated with faucets, and Sarah had been mildly surprised to find that her bookshelf seemed untouched… That was, until she realized that a goblin had gone through and selectively folded each and every single page within each book in half.

Her patience expired.

A throbbing headache then reminded her that she had forgone caffeine today. Something which she needed more today than any other. With that thought, Sarah simply picked up her car keys and left. She said nothing. Did not shout or tell the goblins to get out. She'd tried that before. It had only frustrated her and hurt their feelings. They still did not leave.

Still, Sarah was _very_ messed up about the fact that a goblin had folded the pages in her favorite books. So she decided that she was going to gorge on her _very_ special occasion more-sugar-than-coffee drink.

But then she arrived at the cafe only to discover that they were sold out. Sold out. Sarah could have ordered regular coffee, but didn't feel like spending the extra money on something she had at home.

She pouted in the corner, not yet ready to leave and face the damage.

Today wasn't shaping up to be a very good anniversary. Perhaps she should play scrabble with them later. That always seemed to calm them down.

"Uh, excuse me? Miss?" A shy male voice prodded.

Sarah turned to see one of the employees. It was the one who had told her that the coffee was sold out. He had flinched when her eyes had ignited with anger, then given her a pitying smile when she had deflated and went to sulk. He was probably going to ask her to leave.

"You're lucky," he said. It caught her off guard. He placed a steaming cup of her favorite drink in front of her. "We just got a shipment."

Sarah blinked. "But - but who paid for this?"

He cocked his head towards the entrance. Sarah only caught the backside of a shadowy man leaving the cafe. It wasn't enough of a glance to recognize the man - if she knew him.

"He paid for it. Seems like someone down there likes you."

 _Someone down there likes you_ , Sarah frowned. That's not how the phrase went. Unless he was talking about the devil. She had done something very wrong if he liked her.

"Down where-" she meant to ask but he slipped away.

After a few moments, she sniffed her coffee. To make sure no one had drugged it. Then hesitantly took a sip. The sweet flavor exploded on her tongue. Sarah leaned back with a serene smile.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Oooh, the lady going to love this."

"-Shhh!"

"Shut up."

"No, _you_ shut up."

"Both of you shut up."

" ... "

"... I's so excited-"

"- _Shut up!_ "

The front door to the house opened. An oddly chipper Sarah walked in and set her purse on the floor by her feet. The goblins shifted in their place and waited anxiously for Sarah to turn around.

"I hope you guys weren't too bored while I was gone," she said as she locked the front door.

"Not at all," a goofy deep voice answered. The other goblins shushed him.

Sarah turned to face them. "Good 'cause I-" Her eyes widened. "Oh, my god." She blinked in shock. "What did you guys do?" Sarah slowly approached them.

"We baked yous a cake."

"You didn't get us one…"

"... So we made you one."

The kitchen was filled with smoke. A heavy fog drifted out of the room and filled the hallway and the livingroom. Sarah grimly entered the kitchen. An overpowering smell of _something_ burnt invaded her nostrils. Her eyes stung and she waved the smoke away from her face.

"You guys…" She said.

"We's tried hard, lady." A goblin spoke meekly.

"Didn't know how to use oven, so we set it on fire. Seemed to work jus' fine after that." One of them shrugged.

Cake batter was splattered across the usually spotless white walls. Many of the fridge's contents were abandoned on the tiled floor. Sarah tried to ignore the enormous giant lump of coal that was her stove. How they had safely contained the fire to just her stove, Sarah would never know, but she wasn't sure if she should even be grateful for it.

That was more money down the drain.

Sarah slim pale fingers reached up and covered her face. She alternated between massaging her temples and wiping the smoke from her eyes.

"I need a drink." She said. Strangely, a calmness settled over Sarah.

"Uh oh."

"Lady mad."

"She's not yelling…"

"She's passed the point of yelling like what Kingy says to us." One whispered.

"Kingy's always yelling when he says that."

Sarah sat down at the dining table.

"My lady," a cheery voice called from the other room. "My lady? What is this…? Do not fear, my lady! I shall save thee from the dragons grasps!"

"There ain't no dragon here. Sarah?" A dwarf called out.

"Smoke." A booming voice observed.

Her three friends appeared in the doorway with shocked faces. They took in the submissive faces of the goblins and the shocked face of Sarah.

"Worry not, m'lady! I shall fix this… Somehow." Sir Didymus blinked. It was clear he was at a loss, too. While it was not uncommon for goblins to burn things down, they had never dared to do so at Sarah's house before. Giving her a certain respect that they usually only reserved for their king.

However, deep down inside her, underneath the shock and molten hot anger, Sarah knew their intentions were not impure.

She stepped outside, leaving Hoggle, Didymus and Ludo to deal with the wreck of her kitchen.

Lingering on the porch, Sarah briefly considered taking up smoking. She shook her head. The front door opened behind her. She turned to see Hoggle poking his head out, careful not to expose himself to the outside world of mortals.

"Sarah. We, uh, found a way to fix ur kitchen. It'll take a bit." He shrugged.

"I don't care. Do whatever. I can't afford to fix it myself."

The dwarf nodded.

"Hoggle?"

"Yeahs?"

"Thank you."

ಠ_ಠ

Sarah was still standing on the porch when the postal service pulled up. She frowned. It was an unusual time for them to deliver.

A man in standard blueish uniform pulled a box out from the back of the truck and approached her with a disarming smile. He must be able to read her bad mood from all the way over there.

"A package for Ms. Sarah Williams?"

She was taken aback. "Oh." It took both of her hands to hold it. The box was heavy and wide and somehow did not have the sender's address on it.

"Also, there's one more thing in my truck." He left her alone for a moment to ponder what was inside the box as he went to grab something from the back of his truck.

The deliveryman returned with a bouquet of flowers. Sarah placed the box on the porch near her feet and grabbed the flowers, surprised by their weight, she took a closer look at them.

They weren't flowers.

It was peaches. Hundreds of peaches.

Peaches chopped, cut and shaped into different sorts of flowers. Some had been expertly modeled after roses, some tulips, and some even looked like orchids. The tangy smell reached her nose and she had to keep from gagging. She hadn't eaten a peach in a very long time.

"Sign here, please." The man pushed the clipboard in her free hand.

"Could you-?" She raised the flower shaped peaches

"Uh, sure." He grabbed them and waited patiently for her to sign.

They fell into silence.

He whistled a toon. Then broke off and said, "So, nice weather we're having, huh?"

"Yeah. Summertime." Sarah pursed her lips as she signed.

"Good time to go golfing." He acknowledged. "You like golfing?"

"Not my thing." She shook her head and politely handed the clipboard back to him. He exchanged it for the flowers.

"Well, you have a good day Ms." He said and wasted not a second leaving.

Sarah was left on the porch with peachy flowers and a mysterious package. Deciding not to enter the house (as she was sure she could hear the sound of a power drill droning on inside), she sunk down on her knees and pulled out her car keys to cut open the box. Prying the cardboard apart she was surprised to see a wooden crate. The wood was splintery and rough. She used the edges of her shirt to protect her hands as she opened the crate.

Inside the crate was thankfully not flowers - but unfortunately it _was_ peaches. Lots of peaches. Millions of peaches. Peaches for free.

Sarah's lip curled in distaste.

It was filled to the brim with ripened peaches. The fruit was red with a tinge of yellow and her mouth watered at the thought of the tangy taste. Briefly, Sarah considered sinking her teeth into the juicy fruit - then blinked and came back to herself.

She did not eat peaches Sarah remembered as she sat on the porch completely surrounded by them. Her eyes caught a glance of a sheet of paper partially hidden between two round peaches. Hesitantly, she reached out to pull it from the crate.

Sarah avoided reading the letter too soon. Her stomach gave an anxious flutter. She had an idea of where the peaches came from. If she was right, well, then it was quite a rude present.

She held her breath as she unfolded the paper. It revealed loopy ink - handwriting that was entirely too formal for a letter that had been shoved in such a homely crate. Squinting to interpret the calligraphy, she read the letter.

 _Dearest Sarah,_

 _It has come to my attention that today marks the anniversary of your run through my labyrinth. I am aware that the goblins have been in the habit of celebrating this day with you - which is something that I have allowed up till this point. However, since I am feeling quite nostalgic over the number thirteen, and this day marks thirteen years since we came into acquaintance, I would like to invite you to dine with me tonight instead of spending the evening cleaning up after my subjects._

 _Please consider this, Sarah. Treat yourself._

 _-Jareth, the King of the Goblins_

Sarah blinked and scanned the letter again. An address was attached - it was to one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. Weird that the goblin king was familiar with the aboveground restaurants near her…

Wait. Did the goblin king really just invite her out to dinner? After all these years with not a word from him even after her sending him a birthday present?

Perhaps it had taken this long for him to get used to the idea of a labyrinth champion, she thought.

Still, she had pretty much put the idea of him behind her, accepting the fact that they might never reconcile their differences. When she was eighteen, Irene had taught her how to knit, and Sarah decided to make a blanket. Knowing of the King's approaching birthday and the freezing weather during winter in the labyrinth - Sarah had sent the gift his way with a letter attached. She'd asked him for a truce. He never sent a letter back.

The goblins had told her that he had glanced over the blanket and letter with a look of distaste before setting them aside and ignoring them. The next day it was gone and none of them had seen it since. She'd been hurt by that and hadn't tried to contact him since.

Irene had been put out when Sarah soon after lost her zeal for knitting. Instead, she'd turned back to her books and studying plays again.

The front door swung open behind her, startling her into dropping the letter back into the crate. Hoggle was standing there, gasping for air. "Ugh, Sarah. We, uhs, got a problem."

Cackling, followed by a scream emitted from inside the house.

Ludo appeared in the doorway. "Iron bad." He added.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Great, did Gus get the frying pan stuck on their head again?"

Ludo nodded slowly.

"I told him not to mess with it," Sarah growled and abandoned the crate of peaches on the porch.

Another scream. Then the words, "I'm _melting_ ," sounded from behind Hoggle and Ludo.

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

She'd left the peaches on the porch and had invited the goblins to 'dig in'. There was no way she'd ever eat one of _those_ again. Nope. Sarah had learned her lesson the first time.

She had sat and debated on whether she should stand the goblin king up or not. It would be quite rude, but she was still a bit miffed at him… Sarah weighed the pros and cons in her head.

 _Pros:_

 _Possibly free dinner at the classiest restaurant around._

 _She could order the most expensive item on the menu… And add wine to it._

 _She'd have an excuse to leave the house and stop babysitting the goblins._

 _She could interrogate the Goblin King._

 _Perhaps she could show the Goblin King on what he was missing out on-_

No. No no no. Sarah shook that thought out of her head. She was not going to go there to flirt - or gloat - or seduce. It was certainly _not_ a date and she would not be the one trying to impress him.

Nope. She was not interested in him at all. Especially _not_ that way...

Okay. Cons. Cons is what she needed to think of right now.

 _Cons:_

 _Jareth._

 _Jareth was there._

 _Jareth would be sitting across from her silently judging._

 _Jareth probably remembers your sorry excuse for a blanket…_

 _Jareth would probably be wearing very tight pants._

 _Jareth's pants._

 _Pants. Or were they leggings or tights?_

 _Well, they certainly were tight._

"Oh goodness gracious." Sarah cried. Was that really what she was thinking about right now?

Sighing, and admitting defeat, she sat down and pulled out her makeup. Once she had calmed she began to ready herself for her date-

-Er, professional dinner. Very platonic. Not a date. Just a dinner. Sarah tried to crush the hope inside her chest.

"Not a date," she said aloud. "Just a dinner..."

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

 **The 2nd chapter to this will come tomorrow! This would have been a little long if I had combined it together - so I had pity on you guys and decided to pace myself, lol.** **Also, Gus makes a cameo in this story. A goblin from my very first labyrinth one-shot. ;) He also appears in Menace. Kudos if you caught that.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it thus far! Please don't forget to favorite and review! That's the only way I can make my living off of writing fan fiction, lol.**


	2. Very Crackfic

┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

It was six o'clock by the time she had finished getting ready. The letter had told her to be there in thirty minutes - so she had a bit of time to spare.

Sarah studied her appearance in the mirror, happy with her short black dress that clung to her hourglass figure. It left her shoulders bare but came up to her collarbone. She pulled on a soft off-white cardigan and left it unbuttoned. The cardigan made the outfit seem _just_ a little more casual.

Which was good, because she didn't want him thinking she dressed up for him. Especially if it wasn't a date.

Also, the cardigan kept her arms warm. That's always a plus.

She pinned her hair half-way up and allowed a few strands to fall out her face. Her makeup was simple and brought out the green in her eyes, leaving her lips with soft pink gloss over them.

Five minutes just after six, she was ready.

Leaving her room to locate her pair of her favorite flats, she called out to the goblins that were still making a racket in the kitchen.

"Alright, guys." She said, then frowned when her favorite pair of flats were not by the door. Maybe she had moved them? "I gotta head out…"

Sarah ducked her head to see under her couch. Nothing. "Have you guys seen my flats?" She asked as she stood up. Turning around she was startled when she saw the group of goblins gathered tightly together behind her. Their eyes were looking at her expectantly, and in the front of the group a goblin was holding a cake - with his bare hands.

Some of the icing dripped onto the carpet.

"We's made the cake." One said.

Sarah froze when she realized that there was a pair of flats sitting atop the cake. They had smeared icing all over it as if to blend it in, and it _had_ just looked like a shoe-size cake for a brief moment.

She let out an exasperated groan. There was just not enough time in the day to deal with these guys.

"Look lady, it's got your shoes!" A voice that sounded like a teapot whistling said.

" _Yes_ , I see that." She said flatly.

"Like on Cake Boss. We's put shoes on the cake - cause you like shoes!"

"I liked _those_ shoes, yes."

It was like they _knew_. Goblins really had a knack for spoiling things. Sometimes she wondered if they were much smarter than she realized.

"Alright, well. I have to go." Sarah said and brushed pass the bunch. Now she had to wear her pair of pumps - which wasn't so bad because they complimented her toned legs - but it just made the outfit so much more… date-ish. " I really don't have time to deal right now." She shook her head.

"Lady - you not eat cake?" They asked.

"Later," she growled. Then felt bad when she turned and saw their sulking faces. Sarah sighed. Her features softened. "I have to go right now guys… Please, just _ask_ Hoggle and Sir Didymus before you do - _anything_. Got it?" She raised a brow.

A few of them nodded.

"I can see that half of you don't." She pursed her lips. "Just ask them permission before you attempt to do anything. If they say no then _don't_ do it."

Their faces were blank. Oh, well. If they didn't understand already then they probably wouldn't. Sarah shrugged then made to say goodbye to Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus before she left. Hoggle seemed quite put out that she had stuck him on babysitting the goblins. Sir Didymus said that he would protect her house from the goblins at all cost. Ludo just said 'Sarah friend'.

(◕‿◕✿)

Sarah entered the restaurant with a nervous flutter in her stomach. She shifted between feet anxiously as she waited for the host to find her reservations.

He turned to her and eyed her fidgeting with an annoyed glance. "Follow him, ma'am." The host pointed to a waiter.

Sarah followed the waiter through the restaurant. She was sure that she saw some celebrities as they made their way to the back. At this moment, Sarah was glad that she had bothered to dress up. It would have been slightly embarrassing otherwise, she noted to herself as she took in the expensive decorum. The lighting was dim and classical music droned on in the wall speakers. The waiter led her to a section that was empty except for one.

Sarah froze in place. God, this was real. He was really here.

Her eyes were glued in place, staring at the man as he sipped his wine while waiting. He was right before her, in the flesh, for the first time in thirteen years. An odd feeling passed over Sarah. A mix of déjà vu, nostalgia and worry.

The King of the Goblins was wearing modern human clothes. It was indeed the oddest anniversary Sarah had so far. His hair was cut short and swept to one side stylishly. He dressed formally, fitting in with the restaurant, in a button up wine-colored shirt with black pants. There was a jacket that lay discarded next to him in the booth.

Sarah remembered that she should probably move instead of standing there and gaping. She took a step forward and the waiter continued on as if she hadn't paused at all.

The waiter announced Sarah's presence and Jareth stood up politely as Sarah walked up.

"Ah, there you are." He said and gave her a smile. It didn't look innocent in the slightest. In face, something in his eyes told her the exact opposite.

The waiter asked them if they needed a minute to check over the menu. Sarah took this opportunity to slide passed Jareth and into her side of the booth. He gave her a sidelong glance as he politely shooed off the waiter.

She waited patiently for him as he sat back down. Sarah realized that she hadn't really greeted him yet.

"Hello, Goblin King."

"Hello, Sarah." His eyes danced with amusement.

She nodded as silence between them stretched. "So, thirteen years, huh?"

"Yes." He said, then his eyes roamed around for a moment. They landed on the bottle between them. "Wine?" Jareth asked, his voice higher than she had ever heard it.

"Oh, please?" Sarah held out her glass. When he had poured a bit, she had taken the bottle from his hands and poured twice the amount he had into the glass. He raised an eyebrow at her but luckily did not seem offended.

She refilled his glass, too. To seem polite.

"I've got some catching up to do," Sarah said with a sheepish smile.

（╯°□°）╯︵( .o.)

"Can I touch dis?" A goblin pointed at the floor.

Hoggle rolled his eyes and growled, "Of course ye can."

A goblin with a pig's snout and a crooked helmet asked, "Can I use the bathroom?"

"I ain't stoppin' ya." Hoggle crossed his arms.

"Ludo. Bored." The beast wailed.

Sir Didymus perked up. "I shall play thee at a game of scrabble!"

"Can we's play," A goblin asked.

"Urg, yes." The dwarf's eye twitched.

"Uh, can I come down yet?" A goblin on the ceiling fan asked meekly. He'd been waiting since Sarah had given them orders to obey Hoggle.

"I don't see why yous can't," Hoggle said.

A goblin pointed across the room. "Can I walk over there?"

Hoggle nodded.

"Heys, I wanna watch T.V."

"No," came Hoggle's curt reply.

"Can I jump in place - like this?" A goblin demonstrated bouncing on one foot.

"Yes." The dwarf's hands clenched.

"Whadda 'bout if I do this?" The goblin laid down on the floor and was absolutely still.

"That's preferable."

"Ey," another goblin joined. "I's wanna play Life instead."

"We're playing scrabble," Hoggle responded. Sir Didymus began laying out the board game. Ludo moaned. He was a very dramatic beast when he was bored.

"Whadda 'bout if I if I do this instead?" The goblin began walking around, dragging his feet across the floor in a goofy saunter.

"I's don't care!" Hoggle threw his hands up.

The goblins blinked. Then, an influx of questions arose from their mouths.

"Whadda 'bout this?"

"Ooooh, but can I's do _this_?"

"Can I sit on the couch?"

"Are jumpings jacks alloweds?"

"What if I dance? I want to dance."

"Oh, is dancing not allowed? Sorry."

"I's thought he said yes to dancing already."

"Oh." Then a, "I don't want to dance anymore. I want to

"Can I cleans the windows. I want toeat food. Whatif I runin place? CanIhazcheeseburger? IsitstillalrightifIusethebathroom? WhatifIjustplaysLifeonmyown? CanIgohomeyet?"

Hoggle's ears pounded. "I _don't care what you do_ ," he roared.

The goblins shut up.

"Don't ask me nuthin' no more," Hoggle continued with an irritated tone.

Silence.

Sir Didymus tensed, then said, "Brother, I think that was unwise."

A goblin shrugged and said in response to Hoggle, "Okay."

Then the room burst into chaos.

(◕‿◕✿)

Sarah laughed.

Her green eyes were lit up as she watched Jareth playfully mock some of the people at the high court. He had a knack for impersonating others Sarah had discovered. Once they both had unwinded with a bit of wine and started dinner, Jareth hadn't been shy about this talent of his. Jareth could easily take on accents and mannerisms.

It didn't really surprise Sarah. She remembered when he had pretended to be a beggar when she had ran the labyrinth. Sarah just hadn't seen him use this mimicking power for good until now.

They finished dinner. Her meal was excellent - and she hadn't ordered the priciest thing on the menu out of spite. Instead, she had opted for the same price range that his was.

"I wish we had been able to _really_ talk all those years ago. Like we are right now," Sarah blurted. She didn't get a chance to feel embarrassed about this admission, though.

He agreed. "But thirteen years _has_ helped."

"Yeah, I'm sure I would have only wanted to talk about how life was unfair or which play I was currently invested in. Not much of a conversationalist at fifteen." Sarah joked.

"Yes, well. I wasn't very perfect either, Sar-ah." He added. His face became a bit stoic.

Sarah opened her mouth, then paused. She remembered something. "Hey…" she said in a softer tone. "I sent you a letter all those years ago. I never knew if you got it."

"I did," he leaned back and studied her. His eyes were intense. "And I read it." He took a deep breath. "As I said, I wasn't so perfect. My pride was bruised. I viewed your letter as you throwing my defeat back at me. So, I decided that I would ignore it. Choosing instead to be 'the bigger man'. But that's not what I was doing."

"Wow," Sarah's shoulders dropped at his confession. "I didn't see it that way." She leaned forward and put her hands flat on the table. "I really meant that I wanted a truce - but perhaps it's better that we meet now than then."

He gave her a smirk. "You were always a bit of an old soul, weren't you?"

She smiled and nodded. "That's what I've been told."

The waiter appeared, briefly breaking the conversation between them. "Would you like desert?"

Thirteen years ago she would have slapped present-day-Sarah upside the head and say _Are you kidding? He stole your brother._ But present-day-Sarah opened her mouth anyways.

"Yes, please."

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

"I am afraid we have failed the fair maiden." Sir Didymus observed.

The room was in shambles. Hoggle had given them permission to _not_ listen to him and now had no control over the lot.

Sir Didymus was now depressed at what he viewed as a 'failed quest'. Hoggle was at a lost as to what to do. Ludo was happily unaware of the conundrum that was spiraling on around him.

"Ludo want cake."

"It's okay, we can still fix this." Hoggle said with false hope.

Because there was no hope.

Confetti rained down upon them. Red, pink and blue stuck in Ludo's fur. Hoggle grumpily brushed the stuff off. Sir Didymus' whiskers twisted and he sneezed.

"Ludo. Pretty."

"Yes, brother. Thou art a handsome sight to behold."

A goblin whizzed pass. Cackling with glee and waving around streamers, the goblin ran head first into the television. The black screen cracked and the goblin fell back. He was still for a moment, then popped up with a gleeful cheer and ran off.

Hoggle squinted at a goblin. "What's he holdin'?"

Sir Didymus gasped. "Oh dear. They've brought the ale."

Hoggle felt even more helpless. "Oh Gods. Sarah will never forgive me," he cried.

"Yes. Sarah. Mad." Ludo added.

(◕‿◕✿)

They were standing in the parking lot. Still talking. She lingered by the driver's side of her car, not wanting to get in and end the evening.

"You were going to do that anyways." Sarah playfully rolled her eyes at him.

"Hmm, I suppose," Jareth said. He was close to her. Very close.

A breeze picked up and Sarah could smell cologne in the air. He was very handsome, she thought as she studied him. Sharp features and beautiful blue eyes. One pupil was larger than the other, which was somehow adding to his appeal.

"And now…?" She asked.

"Hmm?" He sounded distracted. His eyes were studying hers. Sarah wondered if he was just as enamored with her. She hoped.

"And what would you do now, if we were in the same position? Me grown up and traversing your labyrinth?"  
"Are you pondering wishing your brother again, Sarah?" He tsked.

"Uh, _noo_ … Would you still send the cleaners after me?" Sarah cocked her head. "Or would you just leave it at taking away a few of my hours?" She leaned in further and he followed.

"Repeating the same punishment again? Sarah, I'm _much_ more creative than that."

They locked eyes.

"Then what would you do?"

"Well, I'd very much like to kiss you." His eyes glanced down at her lips, then back up.

"Okay," Sarah said - articulate as ever.

He leaned in, trapping her between his lean warm body and her own car. Just as his lips brushed against hers, Sarah made the mistake of thinking she could balance herself on the car.

A blaring alarm went off and made both of them jump.

"Shoot." Sarah hurriedly searched in her purse for her keys. "Sorry," she said.

She turned the car alarm off. Sarah looked back at him and it looked as if he was trying to keep himself from chuckling.

"So," Sarah said as they calmed. "You'd kiss me, then? If we were in that same situation?"

"I said I would like to. Truth be told, I'm not sure how you would receive it. I may just keep my distance incase you set anymore alarms off on me."

Sarah paused. "I promise I won't then."

(づ￣ ³￣)づ

They arrived at her house. Sarah was cheerfully unlocking the door when Jareth pulled her into another kiss. She lost herself in him, back against the front door, and kissed him back passionately. Her hand felt against the door for the handle and twisted it.

Still kissing him, she kicked the door open with her foot, and pulled him into the entrance of the house.

Coffee - she had said. Only chatting. They both knew that was a lie. Sarah had known since the moment she had caught herself shaving her legs in preparation for this 'dinner'.

It wasn't a dinner. This was totally a date. And it was _certainly_ more than just mere attraction between them. She hadn't felt chemistry like this in… well, ever. She had been waiting for him, and hoping.

They continued their kiss in the doorway. Then broke apart when they heard a rough goblin voice.

"Oo, hey! A face eating contest," It cheered, then began to give the couple pointers on how to properly win the contest.

Sarah blinked. Damn, she had completely forgotten about the goblins. She turned around to greet them, then froze in her spot.

"Oh, my God." Sarah put a hand on her chest.

This was too far. She'd _never_ seen them go this far. Her house was in shambles. The smell of smoke still clung to the air, along of the new smell of bog and ale. It invaded her nose and made her gag. Her television was laying on the floor and broken in half.

It was split in two.

All the books on her bookshelf were cast about across the floor and laying open, some pages torn, every page was crinkled. Some goblins were laying in a puddle of ale (she hoped it was ale) passed out drunk. The pillows that were on her couch had been shredded and the special china that her stepmother had given her had been shattered.

The goblins that were still awake were throwing confetti and toilette paper.

"Will you excuse me for one second?" Sarah said to Jareth, then went tearing through her house.

" _Hoggle! What have you done?"_

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

She found the trio in her room. Ludo had just managed to disappear through the portal in her mirror when she had entered.

"You," she growled, "Have a _lot_ of explaining to do." She marched up to the nervous looking dwarf.

He was wringing his hands and blinking rapidly. "Guh, I uh… Gotta go, bye," he made a run for the mirror, but Sarah was faster.

She had longer legs, after all.

Sarah pounced on him and grabbed him by the ankle. When Hoggle realized he had to finally face the music, he fell to the floor by her feet.

"I'm sorry, Sarah." He begged. "Please forgive me. I's tried to stop them - I did - but they's wouldn't listen to me. No."

She looked down at him and rolled her eyes. Sarah finally understood Jareth's frustration with the dwarf all those years ago.

"You had _one_ job, Hoggle. One job." Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sir Didymus slowly sliding towards the mirror. "Hey," she whipped out her arm and pointed at him. In a commanding tone she said, "You. Stay."

"Oh, but of course, M'lady." Sir Didymus bowed.

"You guys, I'm sorry, but you have to understand my frustration. I was only gone for a few hours and I left you in charge. Accidents happen, I know that, but _this_? There was soy sauce _on_ the _walls_."

"Uh, what's soy sauce?" Hoggle frowned.

Didymus perked up, " I believe the lady is referring to the bog water that the goblins covered the walls with."

"Oh, from when we's tried to threaten them."

"Precisely."

Sarah was at a loss. "Oh, god. I'm going to have to move. I'm going to lose so much value on the house because of this…"

"Fear not, Lady Sarah! You shall stay with us." Sir Didymus announced.

"Oooh, I need to go. I gotta get out of here." Sarah put her hand on her chest. Then froze. "I left Jareth out there."

She stiffened and then hastily ran from the room.

Hoggle blanched. "Uh, Jareth's _here_?" He looked around and then said. "I'm outta here." The dwarf jumped through the portal in the mirror. Sir Didymus scratched his head and then followed Hoggle through.

(づ￣ ³￣)づ

When Sarah walked back to the living room, she was surprised to see the goblins properly cowering. They weren't looking at her though, they were looking at a very calm goblin king. Almost too calm.

"What did you say to them?" Sarah asked, a little disturbed by their meek demeanor.

"Merely reminded them who is in charge. They will clean this up, you have my word, Sarah."

"They've never been this bad before."

Jareth raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? They're usually intolerable at best." He turned towards the goblins in the room. "What are you supposed to say?"

Obedient voices spoke in unison. " _We're sorry Lady Sarah._ "

Something wet dripped from the ceiling and landed on the carpet next to her. Sarah flinched.

"I have to get out of here."

Jareth took her hand. "It just so happens that I know a place."

"Really? Where?" Sarah perked up, happy to be anywhere that would make her forget about the doom that has settled over her house.

"My castle, of course."

"Okay," she said.

And then the two of them disappeared.

A few minuted later there was the sound of a 'pop' and everything that had been wronged in Sarah's house was righted. The television was fixed and sitting back up, bog had been removed from the walls, all of her books looked as if she had just bought them, and more importantly - all the goblins were now occupying the oubliettes in Jareth's labyrinth.

(◉_◉)

"So, this is your chambers?"

"Yes."

"Impressive… Hey, wait, is that… _is_ that the blanket I made for you when I was eighteen?"

Silence. Then a:

"...no…"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

 **Yay! It's finished! Totally done. Now I'm going to go hide in a corner and pretend that I never wrote this, lol.**

 **Thanks so much to everyone that reviewed! I really appreciated the support! Please, leave a fav. or review to feed this starving fanfiction author.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter. The last section of the story is thanks to Elfalas's review, lol. After seeing that I couldn't resist. ;)**

 **Also, kudos to you if you can catch some of my inspiration from David Bowie!**


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